TERRORISM 101

by

Neal Horsley
Professor of Terrorism
Terrorism University

(Jan 13, 2011: DAY ONE) Thank you for attending this course online today. No matter where you've gone to college before, and no matter what courses you've taken in your life in academia, this is the most important course you will ever take as a student.

I know it sounds presumptuous for me to say something like that. Sounds grandiose, almost, perhaps, egomaniacal.

But, then, that is the way things are in the world of terrorism--Almost so bizarre as to be totally unbelievable in the world of rational thought, in the world of human civility and normal human discourse. But, then, that is why you are here, isn't it? You know that the world of terrorism does exist and, no matter how much you'd like for it not to exist, there it is: the world of terrorism has to be dealt with.

So let's deal with it. Let's quit listening to the people who refuse to tell you the truth about terrorism and start listening to the Professor of Terrorism at Terrorism University. Will you do that?

DISCLAIMER

I'm going to have to say some things and show you some images that no ordinary, normal person ever wants to have to deal with. That's the first thing you've got to get clearly in focus.

terror

Terrorism 101 is without doubt the goriest, bloodiest, most awful, the most...can I say terrible...subject you will ever take. And I admit, it's a shame you ever had to take this course (I originally wrote "God-damned shame" but deleted it so I could introduce the God discussion later in the course).

So there it is: Terrorism is upon us. And I emphasize the word US. I, no less than you--perhaps even more than you--am directly involved in the world of Terrorism, the world that I am going to teach you about. But, paradoxically, my own personal involvement in the world of terrorism is the base of expertise that has qualified me to teach this course. Without my personal involvement in terrorism, I could never have become the Professor of Terrorism at Terrorism University and I could never have created the course content I am teaching you today. But, that said, know everything I teach is subjective. Verily, what you learn about terrorism will make you subject to the rawest, most brutal, most central fact in this world, the fact that you have been trained to ignore. What fact? You, personally, fill-your-name-in-the-blank, must die. And I disclaim all responsibility for that upcoming event.

The Audience

Perhaps you have begun to realize that this course is unusual in that the professor has admitted personal involvement in the subject of terrorism. Obviously no ordinary professor in no ordinary university would ever admit such involvement. But such an admission does guarantee an audience. Every law-enforcement officer assigned to every Terrorism Task force in the world will either come to this class or audit it by proxy through someone assigned to attend the class.

The question is will you continue to listen to this professor of Terrorism or will you slip silently out of the class and notify your nearest terrorism law enforcement officer leaving me with an audience composed exclusively of law enforcement officers? I certainly hope not. Because as I tried to make clear in the beginning of the course, it is your life that is at risk. Not merely the lives of law enforcement officers you pay to protect you. Your life.

For the sake of your life and the lives of your loved ones, it seems due diligence would require you to find out for yourself whether or not this course can help you with the problems that terrorism has created for your life.

But first, let me make sure that you understand I am no johnny come lately, fly by night, unqualified professor of Terrorism.

My Professional Experience With Terrorism

My latest involvement in the subject of Terrorism came in March 2010 when I was arrested for allegedly issuing a "Terroristic Threat" against the popular singer Elton John in Atlanta, Georgia.

I am able to teach this course today because Sir Sodomite failed to make his charges stick. I was released from jail after 35 days incarceration--Which incarceration, I might add, provided deep insight into the dynamic driving the Terrorism you see growing around you. Jail, incarceration, forced institutionalization, the threat of imprisonment, of being caged like an animal, or a slave, is part of the picture of terrorism that most people do not get to see. Sir Sodomite made it certain that I would be able to help you see that "caged" part of the picture.

But my involvement in terrorism began long before I was arrested for Terroristic Threat against Sir Sodomite, uh, Sir Elton. In fact, my direct involvement in terrorism per se can be traced to a conversation I had with Rev. Paul Hill in 1993. Rev. Hill was executed in 2003 for having assassinated an abortionist and his bodyguard in 1994.

As an aside, reviewing the previous paragraphs defining the base of terrorism expertise I draw from that qualifies me to be a Professor of Terrorism, I understand that this is a very strange resume. But, as I said at the beginning of the course, this is a very strange subject.

I next became directly involved with Terrorism when America's Most Wanted Fugitives, a person who had been accused of sending letters claiming to contain Anthrax powder to hundreds of Planned Parenthood abortion clinics around the country, invaded my home and impressed me into a plot to terrorize America's abortion industry. When Clayton Lee Waagner threatened to take the lives of everyone who worked in any capacity in and around abortion clinics in the USA unless they immediately responded to my web site that they would quit working at abortion clinics, John Ashcroft, the nation's Attorney General, mentioned my involvement during a national press conference to explain how the nation was going to protect the abortion industry personnel from Waagner's assassination threats.

During Waagner's reign of terror in the abortion industry, I was allowed to personally meet most of the highest ranking law enforcement officers assigned to the Terrorism Task Force of this nation. I suppose you can imagine the in-depth conversations that occurred at that time between myself and those law enforcement officers. After all, I was the only contact between law enforcement and one of America's Most Wanted Fugitives, a man who had vowed to begin assassinating in random fashion abortion clinic employees across the country, a man who had already proven his prowess as a escaped felon, bank robber, kidnapper, and who knows what else. Can you imaging the intense scrutiny I was put under?

These direct contacts with Terrorism and Terrorists did not occur by chance. Clay Waagner chose to impress me into his plot against the abortion industry because he knew that as early as 1985, I had begun to write extensively about what I perceived to be a wave of terrorism that was going to crash across the United States of America. I wrote a book entitled CALL IT REVOLUTION that began with a Chapter entitled "The Politics of Terrorism". Read the chapter cited and you will see that before most people had ever imagined that terrorism could become the most pressing topic in this nation, I was literally forecasting not only such a day, but actually explaining what had to be done to dam up the raging, blood-red ocean of terrorism that would crash across this nation.

If you will take the time to read the chapter cited, I think you will begin to understand why I have been appointed Professor of Terrorism at Terrorism University and why I believe you will spend you time wisely attending the rest of this course.

So that's all the time I'm going to take up today. But I need your help to make certain the next class is as effective as possible.

Since Face book is the primary venue within which the course will be taught, I need you to help me make sure I reach as many students as possible. To help me, all you have to do is ask your friends to friend me in their Face book account. Please do that. Tell all your Face book friends to please make Neal Horsley their friend on Face book. Tell them it's really important they do so. As weird and as strange as all this might sound, I truly believe this might be the most important course you and your friends will ever take in this lifetime.

Thank you for your attention. This class will meet again as soon as I can fulfill the minimum number of students the University requires for regular class attendance. Face book allows a maximum of 5000 friends in any one person's account. But that limit does not need to apply to Terrorism University because through a mechanism I will show you later, we can reach millions of people through this one course. But I need your help for that. Remember, ask your friends to friend me so they can learn how to deal with terrorism today from the most experienced professor of Terrorism teaching at Terrorism University. Will you do that?

 

DAY TWO: Terrorism Defined and Who Uses It?

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